Friday, February 26, 2010

Writings From High School

Life is Not A Textbook

Nothing is simple
Life is not a textbook
We can't live our lives
The way they teach us
We can read books
That helps us become a better person
But only we can help ourselves change
We all make mistakes
And we shouldn't be ashamed of that
Because it shapes us to the person we become
We grow up hearing
"Go to college, work hard,
Be responsible, do what's right."
We are taught right from wrong
But how do we know it's the truth?
Somewhere between all this
We lose ourselves
We try hard to please everyone
And then we become someone we aren't
How do we konw if we are doing the right thing?
There is so much to do in this life
So many choices,
And distractions,
But so little time.
Sometimes I feel like breaking down
I feel I can never be good enough
I live my life the way I want
Not by what someone things i should
I don't listen to those critics
I don't read books
Just so I can be better
I live my life for myself
I live by my mistakes
And my experinces
My life is my story
It is not a textbook
For others to learn
And study from
It's my life, my story
I write as I go on
And I am hopeing somewhere
In this story I find who I am

The Walls You Created

I stand here with nothing to hide,
But everything to lose
I have put up my barrier,
But every time you come around
The walls fall down.
I should be scared,
But with you I'm not.
After all we've been through
You still find a way to my heart.
It's like my walls fall down only for you
Even though it was you
Who helped put them up.

What I Used to Think

I used to think that love was just another word...
But then it wasn't often heard...
Thinking that life was easy was my biggest mistake,
For when love really struck it caused the biggest decay
My mother always told me love was no joke
When you take things for granted you always seem to choke
So be careful for what you think is love 'cause it's a fact.
When you thing you fall in love with a guy
They always stab you in the back
Whenever things seemed to go wrong guys give you all the blame
They thing every part of life is just some little game
But, when the time coems for you to move on
They want you to stay and never be gone.
If love was some kind of happy thing then it wouldn't be as bad
as it always seems.
But only God can love you more than anyone can
'Cause it's unconditional.
There's no limit, no stand;
Are guys really worth all this pain?
The time will come when they're are really to blame
For you when you don't dwell on the past
Tens years later you'll be the first one they ask.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

...........

As i sit here its hard to not think about this. Its hard to explain this. I get excited and i just want more time. Is that bad? Perhaps it is. Its not supposed to be like this. I am just supposed to feel nothing. My mind isnt supposed to wander, but...it does. And thats something i cant control. (sigh) Sometimes I'm scared that the way that I feel is written all over my face.
.
.
.what am i doing?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

dream

"Me, my two sisters and my mom were driving home one night when i noticed shooting stars all throughout the sky. Suddenly i noticed the moon was too close to earth and a satellite was right next to it. I was worried, it wasnt normal for the moon and satellite to be that close. Then my sister noticed an airplane that was super close to us too. We both were confused. Why does it seem everythings falling out of the sky? Erin started to cry and right when i look out the front window of the car i see fire, its burning the road ahead and only coming towards us. My sisters and i are crying, worried, scared and my mom starts singing a christian song. As the fire is getting closer to us we all start singing along with her. I close my eyes as the fire passes us. When my eyes open i realize we are all safe and the fire did not harm us."
That was my dream i had last night. I talked to my mom about it and i started to see what it was about. Maybe i havnt been right with God lately. And in my dream praising God was what saved me and my family. The world was coming to an end and God saved us. I need to get right with God. I need to start becoming closer, start building the relationship i had with him. Sooner or later everything will come to an end so before it does i need to get right. i want to get right with God