I don't know how to accept it
Or even what to do about it.
I'm scared.
I feel everything was perfectly fine
And for once it all fell into place.
Now I feel my whole worlds spinning
Everything is turning upside down.
There is this man I love.
I only wanted him forever
I have grown with him
Six years I've shared my life with him
I fell in love.
I worked so hard and put everything I can into making this work.
We had rough times but I wasn't going to let those times define who we were
I wasn't going to let them destroy everything I've works so hard
Our love.
But some where, some how I'm sitting here questioning if this is where I need to be.
Do I want to be here anymore.
Our every day has became a routine
Our intimacy has faded.
I've found myself yearning for passion,
Wanting to be adored.
Wanting to be financially stable.
I look at our future we always wanted and it scares the hell out of me.
Will we be able to move forward.
He tells me I'm looking too far into the future financially, but am I?
I want a man who can step up and support a family.
Who will enjoy going and doing things.
I feel we have lost that drive.
We have opposite schedules
We have lost a lot of time together
I have to beg him to go with me to family gatherings on weekends.
It shouldn't be like that.
Sure he's only got 5 hours of sleep but I want him to do it for me, because isn't that you're supposed to do when you love someone.
Maybe it's my fault we have came to this point.
Maybe I just have too much without asking for anything.
Maybe I've been too needy.
Lord only knows.
I'm lost and scared.
I love this man.
If I were to leave my heart will be broken.
I will miss him terribly
And all the things we shared together
I will miss what I've worked so hard for.
And I want him to know that I love him
And I always will.
But something's gotta give.....
My heart can't take much more.
I want more.
And maybe that's selfish.
But they always say, find someone who makes you want to do better, someone who will push you to succeed.
And maybe I'm not enough for him.
